Rachel's Feelings and Thoughts?

Rachel was the chosen one, she was the one who worked hard, found favor, and was well-pleasing to Jacob according to Genesis 29. However, she was not the 1st wife of Jacob. What was Rachel's reaction when her father, Laban, asked her to participate in the act of deception regarding the wedding of her sister, Leah to Jacob? After all, she was the daughter who had been promised to, engaged to, and loved by Jacob? Was she resistant to the idea and hidden away by her father, Laban, until after the wedding night? Did she willingly submit to her father's demands due to traditional beliefs? When was she told about the plans or was she not aware of the betrayal of trust by her family members? How did she feel the night she knew her older sister was consummating the marriage to the man she had been pledged to marry? How did Jacob and Rachel find comfort after it was revealed he had actually married Leah? Jacob was a deceiver so he may have felt he was living a karma moment, Genesis 27. In fact, the reason he ended up at his Uncle Laban's (brother to his mother, Rebekah {Genesis 24}) dwelling place was due to the deceptive act concocted by him and his mother to deceive his Father, Isaac into giving Jacob, his brother Esau's blessing.

Eventually, Jacob married Rachel but both of Jacobs's wives were barren for a period. Did Rachel feel her years of barrenness was a punishment? God had mercy on Leah, and she began to have children, Genesis 29:31. Rachel was loved more by Jacob than Leah but she desired children born from her womb. Was this due to competition with her sister or the shame of being barren? Was Rachel able to joyfully celebrate the birth of her nephews and niece?

Rachel finally gives birth to a son, Joseph Genesis 30:22. Later, Jacob decides it is time to leave Rachel and Leah's family homeplace and journey to Bethlehem. Unbeknownst to Jacob, Rachel decided to steal her father's family idols. Why did Rachel steal the idols, Genesis 31:19? Was it an act of vengeance against her father for the pain she felt throughout the years? Had she lost faith in God? Why did Rachel lie to Laban and hide her father's idols? Did she treasure the idols more than a relationship with God? Did she plan on using the idols for negotiation, bartering, or selling in the future? Through deception and for reasons unknown, she keeps the idols hidden. It is also unknown if she was pregnant with her second child when she committed the deceptive act. Time passes and Rachel dies during childbirth. What were her last thoughts while dying but also giving birth to Ben-Oni [ Rachel's name choice meaning son of my pain] aka Benjamin [ Jacob's name choice meaning son of my right hand], (Genesis 35:16-20)? Did she feel God was judging her because of the covenant made between her spouse and her father, (Genesis 31:43-55). Did she repent of her sins on her deathbed? Did she feel justified in stealing the idols? Was Rachel able to move past the emotional pain, family drama, and put the past behind her? In the end, Rachel doesn't live to see her sons grow into adults or to become acquainted with and love her future grandchildren. She was buried in the land of Benjamin.

I personally do not believe Rachel was an active participant in the deception of Jacob regarding the marriage to Leah. I do believe she was deceptive to Jacob and her father regarding the stolen household idols. I think El Roi, the God who sees, knew Rachel had suffered much and had lived in fear of her father, Laban. Despite her faults, God established a life-long family legacy through her two sons Joseph and Benjamin. Joseph became an Egyptian ruler and had international influence, Genesis 41. His sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, were blessed by Joseph's father, Jacob, (Genesis 36:9-15) and given their grandfather's name Israel, Genesis 48:11-22. Benjamin's offspring became a tribe of mighty militant warriors. A few of Benjamin's descendants were:

• Saul became the 1st King of the Jews, 1 Samuel 9

• Ehud, was an assassin and deliver for the nation of Israel Judges 3:12-30

• Mordecai and Queen Esther saved the Jews from annihilation Esther 2:5-7

• Jeremiah, the Old Testament prophet, and son of a priest, Jeremiah 1:1.

• Paul the Apostle, the author of several books in the New Testament, Romans 11:1 and Philippians 3:5.

Additional readings: "A Woman's Daily Prayer Book" by Nancy Parker Brummett and Christine A. Dallman and

"Daily Wisdom for Women Morning & Evening" published by Barbour Books